The Tendency to be Bored..

Gosh I never thought I would write on this one, but as you will know soon, I had nothing else to do but to write on this one..

In a line this one is about how I get bored of even my most adored passions and habits. And how it affects life, mine and of those around me. A classic example which would for now sound familiar to everyone, is that of songs. One week am listening to November Rain like 300 times, youtube, winamp, my cell phone, remembering the lyrics, searching Wikipedia for the song's performance on billboards and reception by public, the works. The very next week the song has vanished, just plain gone, gone out of the current playlist, gone out of youtube favorites and worst one gone out of mind.

So basically I got bored of liking the same song and decided to dislike that song and move on with life, sounds fair enough, but soon enough I again get bored. This time of disliking the song which once I liked so much and hence I again start to like the song, I mean what is that supposed to mean. I understand one thing, which says "Change is the only Constant" but does there have to be a change just for the heck of it?? On one hand is the danger of being a single tracked person who can't open up to new ideas, who cannot accept change even when it comes or is needed. Whilst on the other hand we have the case which I am suffering from I can't bloody hold on to one thing for a long duration of time without being distracted.

Well, I don't know sometimes I feel happy and lucky to be like this since I get to think of new ideas, or if we take the case of songs get to listen to new songs which I wouldn't have had if I would never be bored of the 1^st song. Sounds like a progressive thing to do, something like you are moving on with life, exploring new things, new ideas and not giving up on the old ones but building up on them. Combining the ideas gained during the break with the previous ones and coming with better deeper thoughts, more broad analysis and probably a more effective end result.

All well and good, but now comes the problem part, which seems to be specific when this same attitude gets implemented on humans. It's one deadly combo. Imagine this, you are with a person, really engrossed like with November Rain I was mentioning above. So while you were liking them you were totally drowned in them, doing everything together, like listening to November Rain while brushing the teeth or in the bath tub or while washing dishes. So as always there was an excess of something and in a few weeks of months or whatever your limit is, you get bored. There is a slight difference though; unlike November Rain now the other party has feelings! All the ingredients of a death trap are in place! You got bored of a person before they got bored of you (which would have happened eventually in any case, if you hadn't been the first one to fail).

So now all the above mentioned so called good things of exposure and new ideas and works get null and void ab initio. The whole picture changes now; just a full 180° shift. If the other person knows, that you are bored by excess of exposure, you are bloody well dead. So you try to lie, you make excuses, you say you got work to do, you got to sleep, you are tired etc. Now the problem is getting worse ok, you know you are lying, so you start feeling guilty. The other person on the other hand, gets a clue that something is not right, no one can be a perfect liar, right. Or the person starts asking you accounts of time you spent doing what you said you were. Which since you never did, you don't know what to say about. You make up more lies, but keep getting trapped, and a simple life becomes complex now managing all the lies, all the fake urgent works you have to do, all the extra sleep you have to take these days.

You try to explore the option of telling them that you want some personal space, a relief for sometime so you can be refreshed for the next time you meet. And can add more value to the next time you get together. But you don't think they will understand. You think they will take it as a personal insult that you have gotten bored of being with them. And guess what, you are dead on right with that belief. Because that's exactly how they are going to react when they know, but still you get trapped into telling them the truth, because they found out something is not right, and they are insisting to know. They are telling you they would take it like mature people, and will understand and try to solve your problem. And yeah you fall for the trap, you think that probably they might be so cool after all and might take a fact as a fact, a need as a need and would give you some space when you get bored. So you tell them the facts and BANG!! No words needed to describe what happens next.

Well people are not rational not a bit. And people are mean and very selfish. Even when they love they do it to be loved back and when that doesn't happen they start hating you. That's how we are. We all feel that way, but try to hide those feelings of selfishness behind a lot of veils and vanity. Life would be kind of tough and not so beautiful if people accepted this as a fact that there can be no real cause for a person doing anything for some duration of time without satisfying a personal need. Now since it feels us right or better to believe in the other person, to take their love at face value, rather than looking for reasons or motives behind it, we behave that way, and expect the same from the other person, hence building on so called trust and relations which are after all mutually beneficial unsaid pacts in very bleak terms.

But why should humans alone be blamed for this cold heartedness, I don't think even a dog can love someone selflessly if in the 1^st place that someone didn't show some promise of affection. The dog just plays along in hope of getting that affection continuously. So weird as it may sound, and tough as it might be to swallow, we are all socially complex, personally motivated, individually responsible beings, and giving a preference to someone else over self can be temporarily forced on oneself but is not sustainable in the long term.